If I were to tell my 19-year-old self where I was by the end of my first year of university, she might be a bit nervous. Living alone for the first time, being responsible for my own decisions, meeting new people, and trying out new things really took my life in new directions. There were things that I was worried about, sure, but they actually turned out just fine. So here’s how I went from a baby Gaiter to a ripe one!
Roommates
The first concern I had was whether I would get along with my roommates. Having heard horror stories about roommates hating each other and making life miserable, I was a bit anxious, to say the least. Fortunately, luck was on my side. By the end of August, I was moving in with one of my good friends from CEGEP, providing a sense of comfort in case things did not work out with my other roommates. Contrary to my expectations, my second roommate and I hit it off immediately, forming a close bond. As for my third roommate, she was an exchange student from Germany—a sweet person, if a bit shy. She often spent time with her other international friends.
In the second semester, she left, and one of our very close friends moved in. She was part of our O-Week group. We soon realized that she was taking the same classes as my roommate, and we became close because of that. She was the perfect addition to our apartment. Our little grey living space lit up, and the four walls we shared filled with the laughs, cries, and all the memories that we have created.
To be honest, I am dreading moving out, and we decided that we were not going to talk about it before it really happened, even though we couldn’t hide our feelings from each other. I really got to know those girls through thick and thin. When you live with your parents and do not want to show your friends when you are feeling down, you have this sanctuary where you can stay. When you live with people other than family, you are bound to show them things you cannot hide, and those things end up bringing you closer together.
Grades and their talent to overwhelm
I have always wanted to push myself academically. Transitioning to university, I noticed that the grading system is very different from CEGEP. At Bishop’s, the passing grade is 50%, whereas in CEGEP it was 60%. There is an adjustment period during which there can be ups and downs, but that is totally fine! Just remember that everyone goes through it at some point or another, and you will adjust. In movies and as a stereotype in general, university is portrayed as the toughest thing you will have to go through. That was my biggest fear, but I soon realized that effort is the only thing I needed.
In CEGEP, I studied French literature simply because I love to write and read, and I thought that my CEGEP experience would be better overall if I pursued something I loved. Now, I study international studies and politics; the change is huge, and there was an adjustment period. Most of my fellow classmates did their CEGEP in social sciences, so I felt like I was behind since they had all taken classes on politics, advanced geography, etc. During the first semester, I felt inadequate for not knowing things others knew, but I was determined to succeed in my program because I knew it was where I wanted to start my career. So, I worked harder, pushed the extra mile, and now, all I can say is that I am doing just as well as someone who took political classes in CEGEP.
The lesson here is that if you have goals, even if they are as small as mine, with the right amount of effort, you can achieve them. This applies to relationships, school, work, and everything else!
Missing mom and dad
My family and I are very close. Coming to university and not seeing them every day was a difficult step I had to take. Even though my family is only a car ride away, the idea of being without them was challenging. O-Week helped to take my mind off things, and I only called them when I wanted to share what had happened that day or talk about the friends I had made. The times I found it most difficult were during midterms and finals season. I felt vulnerable and exhausted, and to be honest, all I wanted was a home-cooked meal and to hug my parents. Between midterms and finals, I would call them while walking home from class or send them a text saying I missed them or asking about their day. We FaceTimed more so that I could see my dog, whom I also missed enormously.
The trick to not feeling too homesick is remembering all the fun I had and all the new experiences I gained. Living at university is like a prerequisite for being a real independent adult, and it is normal to feel anxious at times. The thing to remember is that parents will always be there through their calls, comforting words, or good advice. I got over the whole homesickness thing, and you can surely get over it too!
If you are completely the opposite of me, that is also okay, too! Just remember that your parents must be dying to hear about your experiences and how you are doing. Call them once in a while; they are most definitely missing you.
Learning from my mistakes
Learning from our mistakes is an inevitable part of personal growth and development. I learned that I had to be less demanding of myself, not only with things like grades but also with time.
I wanted to join clubs like the SRC (Student Representative Council) or PISA (Political and International Studies Association), but during the first semester, I realized I could not do everything because I had already enrolled in six classes. It was impossible, and I learned that the hard way when I felt overwhelmed and realized I could not handle the workload. But I also understood that each misstep serves as a valuable opportunity for reflection and self-improvement, allowing me to create a better and more manageable schedule in the following semesters.
Taking care of oneself is crucial, as we must be in a good place to see improvement. University is a great place to discover our limits, preferences, the people we want to meet, and those we would rather leave in the past… By embracing mistakes in relationships, academics, and self-reflection, we can evolve into the best versions of ourselves, which I believe is the essence of university life.
